Poor Toby's Almanac...Mother's Day

A face only a dog's mother could love

"If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, "Sorry, Mom," but nobody beats me."
Hall of Fame Leo Durocher

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass"; "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys";"
Hall of Famer Harmon Killibrew

"A man bites off more than he can chew when he doesn't do what his wife wants. You better believe it."
Hall of Famer Satchel Paige

"It would depend on how well she was hitting..." or "Only if she were digging in."
Hall of Famer Early Wynn, on whether or not he would throw at his mother.

"If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third."
Dodger's manager Tommy Lasorda on Mike Scioscia.

The C.J. Files: What does a closer do for nine innings? C.J. Wilson has his routine down to a science. This is how it breaks down for a road game.
First inning: Watch the game on television, see how the umpire is calling pitches, see if the other team has a specific plan of attack. Said Wilson: "A team like Anaheim is usually hacking so if they come out trying to work the pitcher, you know they're trying to do something different. Pitching is observation and strategy."
Second inning: Go out to the bullpen and report findings to other relievers.
Third inning: Eat a protein bar.
Fourth inning: Start stretching the legs.
Fifth inning: Relax.
Sixth inning: Take a Gatorade break.
Seventh inning: Start stretching arm and torso. Tie shoes. Said Wilson, "My shoes are untied the whole game."
Eighth inning: Check clipboard for scouting reports, begin warming up. Said Wilson, "I throw the exact same pitches during warm-ups every time."
Ninth inning: Save game.

The Oracle of Elysian Fields:
"I hate not playing baseball but the team playing better makes it easier to watch. If the team was struggling, I'd be sitting around thinking about how much I could help them."
Hank Blalock

Toby's Top Five:
1. The Rangers pitching staff - Who knew that Sidney Ponson and Scott Feldman would be in the hottest rotation in baseball?
2. Rays pitching staff - Actually this might be the hottest pitching staff in the American League.
3. Greg Maddux - 350 victories. Think this guy wants 400?
4. Brandon Webb - Wonder who is going to start the All-Star Game for the National League,
5. Florida Marlins - First place and a new contract for their shortstop Hanley Ramirez.

Pitching matchup of the week
Kason Gabbard vs. Felix Hernandez, Round 2, Tuesday at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Ex-Ranger of the Week:
Former catcher John Russell, who was behind the plate for Nolan Ryan's sixth no-hitter, is managing in Pittsburgh and has the Pirates on the upswing. They have a five-game winning streak going into today's game against the Braves.

Birthdays:
Bobby Witt, who is now a player's agent, turns 44 today. Yogi Berra is 83 on Monday and Bobby Valentine, still managing in Japan, is 58 on Tuesday.

Anniversary:
Five years ago today, Rafael Palmeiro hit his 500th career home run. He finished his career with 569 home runs and 3,020 hits, plus all the other stuff. He is retired and living in the Metroplex.

Last call:
"I don't know what it was. Somebody didn't like me? That's just the way this business goes sometimes. Any time when you go out and you do what you're capable of doing and you do it and you get sent down, it's always a shock."
Kevin Mench after being traded by the Rangers to Toronto