There are still months to go before the July 31 trade deadline but the rumors could come fast and furious on Mark Teixeira, the Rangers first baseman who everybody is thinking is going to eventually get traded.

The rumor floating around the Coliseum on Wednesday is the Los Angeles Dodgers are hot after Teixeira. But Rangers officials say there have been no talks with the Dodgers. In fact, the Rangers have had no conversations with any team concerning Teixeira to this point.

Obviously that could change but some rumors are more curious than others. For example the Red Sox. Kevin Youkilis is playing well at first, Mike Lowell is fine at third and they are clearly the best team in baseball. It's hard to see them disrupting that for what it would take to get Teixeira.

The Braves might want him but a source said they'd rather go after pitching. Detroit could use him but they already lead the league in runs scored and hitting. Why give up a stud pitching prospect like Andrew Miller when the need isn't desperate. San Francisco has young pitching and need a first baseman.

Stay tuned but be wary as the rumors start to fly. Very wary.

The Oakland A's were really bad during my first three years at the University of San Francisco. This was circa 1977-79 when Charlie Finley had sold, lost or traded away all the great players from the dynasty and we were left with the likes of Wayne Gross, Mitchell Page, Mike Edwards and Jim Essian.

They weren't very good and by 1979 they lost 108 games. One night they had an official attendance of 564 fans for a game with the equally bad Seattle Mariners.

But it was Major League Baseball and you could do it all for $8.50. It was $1 for bridge toll, $2.50 for parking and $5 was the most expensive ticket. Most of my friends were Giants fans and had no interest in Oakland, so if you were by yourself, you could always buy a single ticket no more than 4-5 rows behind the visitors dugout.

I remember in 1978 they had an eight-game homestand with the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees and the Baltimore Orioles. Best I can remember is I went to seven of those games, which included complete game shutouts by Jim Palmer and Ron Guidry. Also got to see Catfish Hunter pitch for the Yankees.

Still can't understand why my friends didn't want to go. Yes, the Athletics were bad but Palmer, Hunter, Carl Yastrzemski, Reggie Jackson, Jim Rice, Thurman Munson.

Think I went and saw every American League team except the Rangers. Seriously. Not sure why I didn't see the Rangers.

Those same tickets now cost $44 and it's $15 for parking and $4 to get across the Bay Bridge. The Coliseum is different.

They call it MacAfee Coliseum instead of the Oakland Alameda County Coliseum, which I thought was always a great name even when they put 50,000 people in there to watch the Bay City Bombers and Charlie O'Connell, the greatest roller derby star of all-time.

Now they have Mount Davis, which is the huge football structure in center field that they constructed to get the Raiders back. Now there are no more views of the Oakland hills beyond, just big green tarps over the football seats.

Remember going to an afternoon game at the Coliseum on a typically gorgeous Bay Area day and sitting in the bleachers. The Athletics were playing the Boston Red Sox and Carlton Fisk hit a long drive to left.

Rickey Henderson went back to the wall and disappeared from our view. At the last moment all we saw was his glove rise above the wall - remember Thing from the Addams Family? - and snatch the home run away. One of my all-time favorite catches.

Then there was Dwayne Murphy, who was a Gold Glove center field. Twice he went to the wall and went up to make a leaping catch. He would come down, hang his head dejectedly and walk back toward his position in mock disgust. Everybody thought it was a home run, then he would suddenly take the ball out of his glove and throw it back to the infield.

The great baseball announcer Lon Simmons was taken in both times and loved it.

The Athletics were bad and the Giants weren't much better. But it was Major League Baseball and aren't the college years supposed to prepare you for life?

The Rangers have signed left-handed pitcher Mark Redman to a Triple A contract. He will pitch for Oklahoma on Tuesday. The Rangers have called up Mike Wood and optioned reliever Scott Feldman.

This week we replace questions with theories. Here are five theories as to what's gone wrong with the Rangers. Take it point-by-point, agree or disagree. Or just vent.

1. Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla. - The Rangers problems at the front end of the rotation has over-exposed and put added pressure on the back end of the rotation. This seems problem No. 1.

2. Defense. And not just the errors either.

3. As of Sunday night, the Rangers had the second lowest on-base percentage and the second highest number of strikeouts in the American League. This team has offensive talent but the Rangers don't put the kind of relentless offensive pressure on opposing pitchers the way the Red Sox or Angels do. They'll have some big innings but they have far too many harmless 1-2-3 innings. The Rangers .248 batting average leading off an inning is the lowest in the American League.

4. The Rangers need offense from the outfield. Enough said.

5. Perhaps pre-season exuberance and expectations were too high and the resulting boomerang has been tough to deal with, adding to the frustration.

Toby descends from a pack of wild dogs that have roamed the mystical lands of the Transvaal since the beginning of time. Each Sunday morning, he helps us look ahead.

The Week Ahead: The Rangers go back to division play this week, taking on the Oakland Athletics in a three-game series beginning Monday at MacAfee Coliseum and then a four-game series against the Seattle Mariners beginning Thursday at Safeco Field. The Rangers are 11-8 in Oakland over the past two seasons. The Rangers are 1-3 against the Mariners this year but 37-24 against them since the start of the 2004 season.

Worst start: The Rangers are 18-31 through 49 games. That ties the 2001 team for the third worst start in club franchise. The 1973 and the 1982 teams were 17-32.

But bad records mean high draft picks the next year. In 1974 they took pitcher Tommy Boggs. In 1983 they took shortstop Jeff Kunkel. In 2002 they took shortstop Drew Meyer.

The Search for 600: At some point Sammy Sosa should hit his 600th home run. The Rangers are being followed by two officials from Major League Baseball and special balls are being used when Sosa comes to the plate. The baseballs have special markings that will allow officials to know who caught the historic home run.

The Missing Home Runs: Willie Mays hit 660 home runs in his career and Ted Williams hit 521. Mays probably finishes with 720 home runs if he doesn't miss two years because of the Korean War. Williams? Best guess is 670 home runs if he doesn't miss almost five years because of military service.

The X File: The Rangers starting rotation has the highest ERA in the American League. But there's always these ex-Rangers starting pitchers:
Chris Young, Padres                    5-3, 2.70
Aaron Harang, Reds                     5-2, 4.50
Doug Davis, Diamondbacks           2-6  3.57
Jamie Moyer, Phillies                  5-3   4.18
Adam Eaton. Phillies                   5-3    5.73

The Oracle of Elysian Fields: "We're a good offensive team. We haven't proven it yet but we will." Frank Catalanotto

Birthdays: Jerry Hairston turns 31 and John Rheinecker turns 28 on Tuesday. Brad Wilkerson is 30 on  Friday. But the big one is on Thursday when Kenny Lofton turns 40.

Lofton will be the 10th 40-year-old player in Rangers history. The other nine represents a pretty good group:
Gaylord Perry
Tom Paciorek
Charlie Hough
Nolan Ryan
Brian Downing
Rich Gossage
Rick Honeycutt
Andres Galarraga
Kenny Rogers

Special anniversary: The San Diego Padres are 39 years old today. It was 39 years ago today that Montreal and San Diego were awarded franchises after a ten-hour meeting of National League owners.

Why did it take ten hours? The National League wanted to expand to Dallas but they were blocked by Houston Astros owner Roy Hofheinz. He wanted Texas all to himself so they expanded to San Diego instead. That's right, the Rangers almost started out in the National League.

Second special anniversary: Tuesday is the 14th anniversary of Jose Canseco's one-inning pitching performance for the Rangers. Canseco threw something like 30 pitches, blew out his elbow and eventually needed Tommy John elbow reconstruction history.

What people don't remember about that outing was manager Kevin Kennedy going to the mound earlier in the game and screaming at reliever Robb Nen. It was Kennedy's frustration with Nen that led to the decision to pitch Canseco. Nen was soon traded to the Florida Marlins.

Ultimate anniversary: It was 70 years ago today that the Golden Gate Bridge was open for foot traffic between San Francisco and Marin County.

Last call: "We're not going to quit showing up. We're not going to quit fighting. We're going to stay the course because we believe these guys are going to improve. We're not going to give up on them. I believe in these guys, and they believe in themselves." Rangers manager Ron Washington.

The Rangers have called up outfielder Marlon Byrd from Triple A Oklahoma and sent down Kevin Mahar. Byrd is in the Rangers lineup for Saturday night.

Welcome to the Elysian Fields Bar & Grill, where nobody really pays attention to Daytona or Talladega but where the Indianapolis 500 is still the greatest spectacle in racing.

Gerald Laird hit a grand slam on Monday and said afterward that the last time he hit one was in high school. Actually Eric Thornton reminded us that Laird hit a grand slam two years ago in the Triple A All-Star Game and was the MVP.

Two of Sammy Sosa's 598 home runs were inside-the-park jobs. Both were in Pittsburgh, one in Three Rivers Stadium in 1997 and one in PNC Park in 2001. Also, ten of those 598 were walkoff home runs.

For No. 600, bet on the fourth inning. Sosa has hit more home runs in the fourth that any other inning.

The Rangers don't face Curt Schilling this weekend. Sosa has seven off of Schilling and Jose Lima, tied for the most off of any pitcher in his career.

The Main Street Blues Room? It's a restaurant/bar with live music on Main Street in Grapevine. Monika Guzman is the owner, wife of former Rangers pitcher Jose Guzman who now does the Spanish radio broadcasts.

Former Rangers pitcher Andy Pratt is now an amateur scout for the club. Covers Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah.

Jerry Hairston, who went to Southern Illinois, was selected to the Missouri Valley Conference's All-Centennial team earlier this month. He played third base there. Rangers farm director Scott Servais was one of the catchers on the team. He went to Creighton. So did Dan Smith, the Rangers No. 1 draft pick in 1990. He also made the team.

Andre Dawson on FOX radio, about Barry Bonds and Hank Aaron: "Hank, I would like to see keep the record for everything he had to endure during his career, but Barry was a colleague of mine and I played against him.  I saw the talent there and the ability.  This is a part of history. You’re only going to see it once unless A-Rod goes crazy in the next five or six years.  I think people continue to say they are not going to support it, but I think all eyes will be glued when that moment comes.  Because of the nature of what steroids has done to the game, as much as I want to see Barry break the record, I want to see Hank keep the record, for everything he had to go through.”

Just for the heck of it: Tom Paciorek.

Kansas City Royals manager Buddy Bell underwent arthroscopic knee surgery earlier this week but came through it just fine.

Red scout Bill Wood watches the Rangers closely. The Reds are dying for relief help. They have been outscored 41-23 in the eighth inning.

Carl Pavano is going down for Tommy John surgery, which should close the book on him as a Yankee. For $39.5 million over four years, the Yankees got a grand total of 19 starts and five wins.

Lance Berkman, off to the worst start of his career, was given Wednesday night off and said: "I don't know how this team's going to cope without my .265 average and my six extra-base hits. But I think they'll get along for one night."

Angels manager Mike Scioscia is missing a game this weekend because his son is graduating from high school and said, ""It's never easy to not be there, but when it comes to family, that's the No. 1 priority. Your son graduates from high school one time ... well, we hope it's one time; we haven't seen his final grades yet."

Only Baltimore Orioles pitchers have walked the leadoff hitter in an inning more than the Rangers pitchers this year. At least among American League teams.

Second highest OPS in the American League among first basemen? Tampa Bay's Carlos Pena. Nine years after being the Rangers top pick in the First-Year Player Draft, he has a .979 OPS.

It was 26 years ago today that Bill Stein set an American League record with his seventh consecutive pinch hit.

Sorry...don't have anything profound to say about baseball, other than it could be long summer. They really needed to take two of three from the Minnesota Twins.

And the Tampa Bay Devil Rays but...

If it really gets bad - and it may - you could always read a book.

Because I feel like it, here are ten classic novels that would be worth opening up while sitting next to the pool or on the beach at Lake Texoma.

1. The Once and Future King - The best of the Arthurian legends. Starts out with the classic tale of the Sword in the Stone and still love reading about Merlin turning Wart into a falcon and putting him in the mewes for the night. Take T.H. over J.K any day

2. The Mutiny on the Bounty - Still my all-time favorite book

3. The Hunt for Red October - Tom Clancy's first is still his best.

4. The Last Picture Show - Required reading for anybody who just moved to Texas but don't forget Lonesome Dove.

5. The Sun Also Rises - My personal Hemingway favorite although you can't go wrong with The Old Man and the Sea or For Whom the Bell Tolls. Stay away from To Have and Have Not, which is living proof that even the best have a bad day.

6. Battle Cry - Leon Uris is one of the best and this one is about the Marines in World War II. If you're Irish then read Trinity. By the way, nobody asked me but I hated Angela's Ashes although the worst book ever written is still Silas Marner.

7. The Road to Gandolfo - Robert Ludlum is my all-time favorite author and I love this one.

8. Seven Days in May - All right. It's over 40 years old. So am I. Deal with it.

9. If I Never Get Back - A great novel about baseball and the 1869 Cincinnati Reds.

10. The Search for Temperance Moon - A novel of the Old West. Well, actually Judge Parker, Fort Smith and the Indian Nation. Kind of like True Grit.

We'll talk baseball later...maybe

Before we get to the Rangers, want to put in a plug for something Kevin Sherrington wrote in the Dallas Morning News on Sunday. If you have time - make time - then read the following. Then you can sound off on the Rangers.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/columnists/ksherrington/stories/052007dnsposherrington.3525581.html

Now to the business at hand:

1. Ron Washington believes the Rangers had six good games on the road trip and their season will turn around soon. Do you think so as well?

2. What should the Rangers do about third base during Hank Blalock's absence? Is there a trade that they should pursue.

3. What should they do about the outfield while Brad Wilkerson and Jerry Hairston are out?

4. What is the No. 1 reason to come see a Rangers game this week?

5. What should the Rangers do about their starting rotation while Kevin Millwood is out?

Toby descends from a pack of wild dogs that have roamed the mystical lands of the Transvaal since the beginning of time. Each Sunday morning, he helps us look ahead.

The week ahead: The Rangers close out their three-game series with the Astros this afternoon at Minute Maid Park with the annual wives softball game being played at 11 a.m. beforehand. The Rangers open a three-game series with the Minnesota Twins at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington on Monday and then host the Boston Red Sox for three games on the weekend.

McCarthy vs. Masset: It is already quite fashionable to compare Brandon McCarthy to John Danks in perhaps the most pre-judged trade in Rangers history. Now people can do it with Nick Masset. McCarthy pitches for the Rangers on Sunday afternoon and Masset makes his first Major League start for the White Sox against the Chicago Cubs. Weather and a doubleheader on Thursday forced manager Ozzie Guillen to go with either John Danks or Jose Contreras on three days rest or bring a reliever out of the bullpen. He decided on Masset, who made 104 starts in the Rangers farm system.

The Oracle of the Elysian Fields: "I remember when I was coming up and I told my mom that I wanted to hurry up and face Reggie Jackson, which I did.  I know how it must have felt for him." Roger Clemens on Class A outfielder Erik Lis hitting a home run off him on Friday.

Dice-K coming: Daisuke Matsuzaka makes his first start against the Rangers on Friday night in Arlington. He will be the 14th pitcher from Japan to pitch against the Rangers.

The list:
Pitcher                        G       W-L    Saves    ERA
Shigetoshi Hasegawa      57     8-5        3        2.58
Kazuhiro Sasaki              26     3-1      14        3.16
Mac Suzuki                    10      0-4         0       8.74
Shingo Takatsu                6       0-0         1      6.00
Steve Chitren                 5       1-0         0       6.75
Hideki Irabu                    5      1-2         0        5.47
Masao Kida                      5       0-0         0      29.08
Tomo Ohka                     5       3-1         0        3.21
Keiichi Yabu                    0       0-0         0        4.76
Hideo Nomo                    4        1-0         0      5.25
Hideki Okajima                2        0-0        0        0.00
Jeff McCurry                    1        0-0        0        0.00
Kaz Tadano                       1       0-0        0      13.50

Birthdays: The great Japanese superstar Sadaharu Oh is 67 today.
* Ricardo Rodriguez is 29 on Monday. Wondering what happened to him? He is 1-3 with an 8.02 ERA in eight starts for the Albuquerque Isotopes.
* Monte Stratton's birthday is Monday. He was born in 1912 up in Greenville and died in 1982. He was a 15-game winner for the Chicago White Sox in 1937-38 who shot himself in the leg while hunting rabbits after the 1938 season. The wound required amputation and his Major League career was over. But he attempted a comeback after World War II and won 18 games in Sherman in the East Texas League in 1946. Jimmy Stewart played him in the movies.
* Buck Showalter is 52 on Wednesday. He's with the Cleveland Indians as a special assistant, doing a lot of scouting. One of his assignments later this month is the SEC baseball tournament. Doesn't look like he's still a good luck charm if you know what I mean and most of you do.
* Joey Eischen is 37 on Friday. He is currently on the disabled list with the Triple A Toledo Mud Hens after being signed by the Detroit Tigers to a Minor League contract in the off-season. He has pitched in 324 Major League games and is 11-9 with a 3.67 ERA. Does anybody even remember he was the Rangers fourth round pick in the 1989 draft and one of three pitchers traded to the Montreal Expos back on Sept. 1, 1991 for Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd?

Last call: "I'm afraid we're going to get in a frenzy here, and the expectations are going to be unattainable The kid's playing good. Just let him play." Astros manager Phil Garner on outfielder Hunter Pence.

The Rangers have put Jerry Hairston on the disabled list and activated John Koronka. They are expecting to replace Koronka with Wes Littleton on Sunday, then activate Frank Catalanotto off the disabled list on Monday.

Third baseman Hank Blalock will have shoulder surgery on Monday. He will be out 10-12 weeks. Travis Metcalf is being called up to replace him. John Koronka is pitching Saturday. More on the site later

Welcome to the Elysian Fields Bar & Grill, where we watch Major League games at Major League parks and Minor League games at Minor League parks.

* Rangers manager Ron Washington on all the injuries: "The schedule is not going to stop. We're going to have to move on. Sometimes injuries like this bring you together."

* Roger Clemens, in an interview with Buck Martinez on XM radio, was asked about not traveling with the Yankees and his previous time with the Astros: "It wasn’t a problem the first three years. What’s comical about it is in 2003, when I did shut it down, the Astros came to me with the idea to bring me out of retirement in 2004, and I told them it would never work. Then, talking to the senior players on the team, they told me to try and make it happen somehow. It was portrayed media-wise that I just wanted to pitch every fifth day and hang out at home and lay by my pool.”

* The Rangers do miss playing the Tampa Bay Devil Rays at Tropicana Field. Word is the visitors clubhouse is the best in the Major Leagues.

* Big night at the Trop on Friday. The Devil Rays are featuring a Legends of Wrestling Night. King Haku, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and the Cuban Assassin are among those scheduled to make an appearance.

* Rangers pitchers hit .368 in 1997, including a home run by Bobby Witt. That's the highest single-season batting average ever compiled by pitchers on an American League team during Interleague play.

* Apparently there are a lot of rumors about Alex Rodriguez opting out of his Yankees contract and playing for one of the Chicago teams. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen had some fun with that by saying, "A-Rod is going to play for the city of Chicago. He's going to talk to Mayor Daley. When we're in town, he's going to play for the White Sox. When we leave town, he will play for the Cubs. When we play against each other, and we're home, he will play for us; when we play at Wrigley, he will represent the Cubs. Now he's a savior for both teams."

* Tigers manager Jim Leyland didn't like reading in the Minnesota papers about how bad the Twins were, saying: "The team has won the Central Division four of the last five years. ... They're going to be right there when it's all said and done. They've got the MVP, they've got the batting champion, and they've got the Cy Young winner. And they act like this team is a piece of [junk]. That's what I think -- I think they're real good."

* You know of course that the first umpires – before the Civil War – got to sit in padded seats behind home plate. Or rocking chairs

* The Phillies and the New York Giants played nine innings on Sept. 28, 1919. The game took 51 minutes. The Rangers-Devil Rays seemed to have innings last that long on Thursday.

* Just for the heck of it: Dickie Noles.

* I didn't know this: Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. The acronym is GOLF. That's how the game got it's name.

* Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith, speaking on Fox radio, on the reaction to Barry Bonds, steroids and the Home Run chase: “He still had to hit the ball out of the ballpark.  Whether or not he would have done it any quicker or further, I really don’t know.  I don’t even know what the stuff really does, if in fact he did use it. I’ll just be glad when we don’t have to talk about it anymore.  Henry Aaron shouldn’t be forced to have to talk about steroids use and the effect this had on the game.”

* Astros outfielder Hunter Pence struck out in his first at-bat on Thursday. He had a streak of seven straight hits before that. Rangers coach Art Howe can relax. He has the Astros record with eight straight hits. He's tied with Julio Gotay.

* They made fun of shortstop Orlando Cabrera when he wore basketball sneakers on Montreal's artificial turf for many years. But he's one of the few former Expos who is not having knee problems. Others like Vladimir Guerrero are suffering from playing with spikes on that turf.

* San Diego Padres pitcher Jake Peavy had to chart one of teammate Greg Maddux's games this week and said, "When Greg's on, it's a joke. He missed his location maybe five pitches all night."

* Angels manager Mike Scioscia: “When an American League team goes to a National League park, it can be a little bit of a disadvantage for a team that has a prototypical DH. You’re going to take David Ortiz away from Boston or Jason Giambi out of the Yankees’ lineup. I don’t think the National League gets quite the same jolt when they add a DH in an American League park. They don’t usually have a guy like Ortiz or Giambi to pull off the bench and put in the middle of the lineup.”

A strange night.

Brandon McCarthy called it a "really nice Class A park" and added, "I kept expecting to hear my mom's voice yelling at me."

Kind of like Little League.

But this isn't Red Sox-Yankees, Cubs-Cardinals or Dodgers-Giants. Disney and ESPN may be part of the same giant conglomeration but the world wide leader wasn't at Disney's Wide World of Sports on Tuesday night.

This was Devil Rays-Rangers. The Devil Rays need fans and they're not going to draw much more - if any - back home with the Rangers in town so why not spent three days at Disney World. They didn't sell out the 9,000-seat stadium on Tuesday but maybe they can throw in a little two-for-one Devil Rays-Jungle Cruise special price to fill out the crowd.

One of those alligator wrestling matches between innings might work as well.

Don't laugh. Maybe one day the Devil Rays and the Rangers will be playing up in Frisco.

Love the television guy who asked Ron Washington after the game, "Other than the loss, how did you like playing here tonight?"

"Gee Mrs. Earhart, other than the landing, how was your flight?"

Actually the manager praised the way his team played in a 4-3 loss to the Devil Rays, even though the Rangers are now nine games under .500. That matches the farthest below .500 they have been since the end of the 2003 season.

You know what the guide said on Disneyland's Jungle Cruise: "Hello everyone, I'd like to welcome you aboard the world-famous Jungle Cruise. My name is Joe and I'll be your skipper for as far as we get."

The manager also praised the setting and if you've ever been to Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg you'll understand why. If you're still only going to draw the same number of people who are standing in line at Space Mountain or the Maelstrom at Epcot Center then why not enjoy a little fresh air as well.

You can always do a little shopping for the family back home if you can only somehow stumble onto a gift shop around here.

Game 2 is tonight and as the guy also says on the Jungle Cruise: "And just ahead you'll notice an alligator playing with an elephant. That's something you don't see every day....But I do."

The Rangers have placed pitcher Kevin Millwood and Ron Mahay on the disabled list and have called up pitchers A.J. Murray and Scott Feldman. Murray and Feldman will both be with the Rangers at the Mickey Mouse Minor League ballpark at Disney World Tuesday night.

Actually we are approaching the quarter post of the season, which is 40 games. As of Monday morning, they are 15-22. So here we go and don't hold back.

1. What would you do with Nelson Cruz when Frank Catalanotto comes back and what is the best way to divide outfield/DH playing time among the available players.

2. What's your take on the Rangers defense, especially with Ron Washington being so critical of the way his players have performed.

3. The Rangers are 1-7 when Vicente Padilla pitches. Is that his fault or is it bad luck?

4. Are you feeling better about Brandon McCarthy yet?

5. Does the Astros-Rangers Interleague Series rate as a serious rivalry? A corollary: Yankees-Mets are on both Saturday afternoon and Sunday night on national television. Is that getting old?

Toby descends from a pack of wild dogs that have roamed the mystical lands of the Transvaal since the beginning of time. Each Sunday morning, he helps us look ahead.

The week that is: The Rangers have two left with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. They need to win two. They have a three-game series with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in Walt Disney World.

They need to win two. At least.

They have a three-game series with the Houston Astros starting on Friday at Minute Maid Park.

They need to win two. At least.

And how do they do that:

1. Corner outfield production. - The Rangers miss Frank Catalanotto because they must get more production out of their corner outfield spots. This is an on-going problem for the past eight years. The Rangers need more offense from their outfield. As of Saturday, their three outfield spots had the lowest combined OPS in the American League. They had their third fewest RBI and the second fewest runs. Catalanotto is not going to turn that around by himself. Nelson Cruz could help. Brad Wilkerson could help. But Catalanotto is proven. They need him back.

2. Kevin Millwood/Vicente Padilla - It's time for the Rangers top two pitchers and highest paid players to get on a roll. The Rangers are 4-10 when those two are on the mound. They've had some bad luck, especially Padilla. But they need to win and the Rangers need to win when they are on the mound.

3. Mark Teixeira - He takes a ten-game hitting streak into Sunday's game. He's hitting .439 (18-for-41) with eight doubles, three home runs and 11 RBI during the streak. He needs to stay hot and the Rangers need to take advantage of it.

4. Defense - The obvious. The Rangers are on pace to commit 148 errors. They haven't made that many since 154 errors in 1992. They are on pace to give away 108 unearned runs. They haven't allowed that many since 109 in 1987.

5. Fill the Black Hole of Calcutta - That would be the No. 6 spot in the lineup. The Rangers No. 6 hitters have combined for a .190 average, one home run and eight RBI, all the lowest in the league. The spot appears to be jinxed but that's not good in the American League. Who has a good No. 6 hitter? Torii Hunter, Minnesota. Mike Lowell, Boston. Hideki Matsui/Jorge Posada, New York.

The Oracle of the Elysian Fields: "You've got to play the game. You can't play not to get hurt. If you do that, you're going to get hurt. That doesn't mean you dive after a foul ball ten rows into the stands but I'm going to play the game." Mark Teixeira.

The streak: Top five consecutive games played streaks in Rangers history

Mark Teixeira        482

Alex Rodriguez      482

Ruben Sierra         325

Michael Young        287

Al Oliver                264

Birthdays: Jim Sundberg turns 56 on Friday. Five random things about a charter member of the Rangers Hall of Fame.

1. Sundberg won six Gold Gloves. Only three catchers have won more: Ivan Rodriguez (12), Johnny Bench (10) and Bob Boone (6).

2. Bill James rated Jim Sundberg as the 32nd best catcher in baseball history. Hall of Famer Ray Schalk was 35th.

3. Two Rangers career records Sundberg still holds. His 103 sacrifice hits are the most in club history. He also reached on an error 79 times, also the most in club history.

4. Eleven catchers have started 1,600 games in the Majors and Sundberg has the highest fielding percentage of any of them.

5. Five players you might have heard of who played at the University of Iowa: Jim Sundberg, Mike Boddicker, Cal Eldred, Bo Porter and Jim McAndrew, who was a pitcher on the 1969 Mets.

Last call: "At the end of the season, physically I feel great. The day after the season is over, I'm out playing golf. If this team ever makes the playoffs, I'll be on a roll. A lot of guys are breaking down at the end of the season. I'm just hitting my stride." Mark Teixeira

Welcome to the Elysian Fields Bar & Grill, where they would rather talk about the immortal Marla Hooch rather than Paris and Kathy.

Rangers equipment/clubhouse manager Zack Minasian has read the stories of Kirk Radomski, the former Mets clubhouse attendant who has pleaded guilty to steroids distribution.

He has heard other stories that have come out about clubhouse managers and attendants and the various exotic services that they provide players. He is angered by the stories and made it clear that the vast majority of clubhouse managers would not tolerate such behavior.

"The thing that upsets me is that they're damaging our reputation," Minasian said. "Too many of our guys have been around a long time and have done their jobs with integrity to do something silly like that.We're not babysitters, we're not walking girlfriends around and we're not serving anybody any cocktails."

Minasian has been with the Rangers since 1989 and has been the home clubhouse manager since 1995.

"I'm a department head," Minasian said. "My budget is $1 million a year. It's got to be run professionally, it can't be run on the fly. If something comes up, we try to make it happen but if it's unprofessional, unrealistic or illegal, we don't do it."

As for steroids, Minasian said, "I never seen it and never heard it talked about and I've been around a long time."

* The Rangers play the Tampa Bay Devil Rays at Disney's Wide World of Sports on Tuesday.  It will be the smallest (in capacity) to host a major league game since 1996 when the Oakland A’s opened the season playing games at Cashman Field in Las Vegas because the improvements to the Coliseum weren't completed.  The A’s played six games there against Toronto and Detroit.  The capacity of the stadium is listed at 9,000.

* Ryan Ludwick is back in the Major Leagues. He hasn't been there since 2003 when he was with the Indians. That was two knee operations ago. Ludwick, once with the Rangers, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: ""I've got nothing to lose. I've been here before and I got hurt and I feel like this could be my last opportunity.You never know how many chances you're going to get. I'm just trying to take advantage of it."

* The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are in the market for an outfielder. Milwaukee's Kevin Mench is one name that has been mentioned.

* Just for the heck of it: Manny Lee.

* The Oakland Athletics have figured out a way for fans to have their tickets sent directly to their cell phones.

* Barry Bonds hit a home run on May 8. So? The only two calendar days that he has not hit a home run are Aug. 5 and Sept. 30. During the regular season that is. Don't think he has gone deep on Christmas. Yes, there are people who sit around and look this stuff up.

* Some fan in Cleveland was pestering Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells for a baseball. Eventually he obliged but first wrote on it:  "Dear Mr. Dork. Here is your ball. Can you please tell what gas station you work at so that when you are pumping my gas I can yell at you. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game. Your favorite centerfielder."

* White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen on catcher A.J. Pierzynski: "Every place we go, A.J.'s not well-liked. We'll have to play on his mom's patio for people to start rooting for him.''

* Orel Hershiser's son Jordan, who played baseball at St. Mark's in Dallas, is going to USC to play first base and pitch. He is 6-foot-7.

* Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi on why they lied to the media about reliever B.J. Ryan's elbow injury: "There are a lot of things we do not tell the media, because the media does not need to know it and the fans do not need to know it. There are a lot of things that happen that if you let it play out it ends up solving itself. If you bring attention to it then a lot is made out of things that don't end up being a big deal."

Look, public outrage over baseball's on-going steroids scandal will have to wait.

Most of us are just sick with worry and deep concern over the possibility that Paris Hilton may have to spend 45 days in jail and the thought of that is just too much to comprehend.

Fortunately her mom, Kathy Hilton, is on the case, moving heaven, earth and California governor in a noble quest to keep her daughter from being tossed in the slammer. Those over-zealous prosecutors have already felt her wrath and there's no doubt that there's more to come before her sweet baby gets locked up.

This is America and if Don King can throw out the first pitch at a Rangers game then certainly Paris is next in line after she pays her debt to society.

The Los Angeles Times, fortunately, is all over this story while the New York Times is wasting precious manhours and costly newsprint trying to unravel the latest episode in the steroids scandal.

But they have found out that the Mitchell Committee, led by former Se. George Mitchell, wants to pore over some players' medical records and prominent in their quest are Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro, plus others who were with the Baltimore Orioles. Several have Rangers ties, including David Segui and former third base prospect Fernando Tatis who turned out to be a big disappointment in Texas.

The Rangers know what's going on, they have been in communication with the Mitchell Committee and they knew that developments like this were a possibility when they signed Sosa.

No telling where this is going, or even if the committee will actually get the medical records, which are supposed to be confidential and can't be released without player consent.

From a baseball standpoint, Sosa has been everything the Rangers have hoped for: a good teammate, cooperative with the media and a force in the middle of the lineup.

But the Mitchell Committee is relentless and this story is not going away any time soon. The Rangers, like everybody else, will have to stand by and wait and the whole sordid affair could become even more malignant as Barry Bonds approaches Hank Aaron's sacred home run record.

It would be a deep shame if Miss Paris misses the grand event because she's busy making license plates, but Miss Kathy is on the case so that's hardly a foregone conclusion. There is also the possibility that Governor Terminator could step in and undo this gross miscarriage of justice. His movies have always been overflowing with compassion for the downtrodden and helpless victims of a cruel society.

The smart money says Paris walks while those caught up in the steroids investigation will still have to twist in the wind as Mitchell & Co. press on at Commissioner Bud Selig's request.

Fortunately for all there is always Don King, who is living proof that with a little pluck and a little luck, any sordid past can be overcome. He gives hope to everybody in these dark and sordid times.

Lot of grumbling among Rangers fans last week. The discontent was quite palatable at the Ballpark and in the mail. Since then, the Rangers have swept the Toronto Blue Jays, which has made everybody within the clubhouse feel a little bit better.

And outside the clubhouse? Five questions for your consideration but feel free to rant on your own. Monday Morning Manager is always open forum.

1. Should the Rangers sweep if the Blue Jays be taken as a sign that this team is ready to take off?

2. Has anybody on this team overachieved so far?

3. How much will the next seven games tell about the Rangers with a three-game trip to New York and a four-game series at home with the Angels? Just another week or a big week?

4. Rotation. Outfield. Bullpen. Infield Defense. What concerns you the most and how should it be fixed.

5. What's your take on the Yankees signing Roger Clemens?

Toby descends from a pack of wild dogs that have roamed the mystical lands of the Transvaal since the beginning of time. Each Sunday morning, he helps us look ahead.

The week that is: The Rangers open up a three-game series against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium, then return home to face the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for a four-game series at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

The implications are obvious. The Rangers haven't beaten either one of these teams this year, getting swept by the Angels in Anaheim to start the season and the Yankees last week in Arlington. The Rangers are done with the Yankees after this.

Pitching decisions: The Rangers made some interesting choices in setting up their rotation this week.

Most notably, they decided to have Mike Wood pitch on Tuesday and Robinson Tejeda on Wednesday against the Yankees. Both pitched in Thursday's doubleheader so both could have come back on normal rest to pitch Tuesday. But the Rangers decided to give Tejeda the extra day of rest.

It also seems to give Wood an extra start because Kevin Millwood isn't eligible to come off the disabled list until next Monday. If the Rangers pitch Wood on Wednesday, then Millwood could replace him when that spot in the rotation comes up on Monday. Instead, Wood is in line to pitch on Sunday against the Angels. Tejeda would pitch on Monday against the Angels, leaving Millwood to return some time during the Tampa Bay Devil Rays series in Orlando.

The Oracle of the Elysian Fields: "You teach me about baseball and I'll teach you relativity. No we must not. You will learn about relativity faster than I learned about baseball." Albert Einstein.

The Relievers: The Rangers are in danger of going up against Mariano Rivera, the Yankees closer who saved both ends of the doubleheader on Thursday. That gives him 29 career saves against the Rangers, the most by anybody. The leaders through the years:

Mariano Rivera      29
Troy Percival         25
Dennis Eckersley    24
Rick Aguilera           23
Rollie Fingers         23
Jeff Montgomery    23
Tom Henke             20
Dan Quisenberry     20

Footnote: Jeff Montgomery had eight blown saves against the Rangers, most by any reliever. Mike Henneman had nine wins in relief, most by an opponent. Also, if you really want to get obscure, Jeff Nelson has 22 holds against the Rangers, followed by Jim Mecir with 19.

Birthdays: He turns 76 today, born in the town of Westfield, Ala. just outside of Birmingham. His parents were divorced and his father worked in a steel mill.

He was 16 when he first played with the Chattanooga Choo-Choos and then was paid one dollar per game to play center field for the Birmingham Black Barons. The New York Giants signed him in 1950.

He has been mentioned in songs by Terry Cashman, John Fogerty, Widespread Panic, Wu-Tang Clan and Bob Dylan.

He was on-deck when Bobby Thomson hit the pennant-winning home run against the Dodgers in 1951. Mays, a rookie, was praying in the on-deck circle that he wouldn't have to bat.

Try this for trivia: He is the only Major League player to hit a home run in every inning from the first through the 16th innings. He has a Major League record 22 extra-innings home runs.

Don't debate it: The Catch in Game 1 of the 1954 World Series is the single most significant defensive play in Major League Baseball. Don't let cable television fool you into thinking otherwise.

Willie Mays is 76 today.

But don't forget: Bobby Witt is 43 on Friday and Yogi Berra is 82 on Saturday.

Last call: "It hasn't gotten to the point where I have to drink. I don't think anything will come of that anyway. What makes me feel better is results." Manager Ron Washington.

The Rangers have placed pitcher Kevin Millwood on the DL and called up reliever Wes Littleton from Triple A Oklahoma...Mike Wood is expected to continue to pitch in the rotation.

Welcome to the Elysian Fields Bar and Grill, where our four local sports teams are making us pine for the good old days of the Dallas Tornadoes and the Dallas Chapparals.

* The Rangers had thrown just one wild pitch before Thursday's doubleheader. Then they threw five in one day.

* The Rangers, before the Yankees showed up, had not been swept in a doubleheader at home since Sept. 7, 1989 when the Baltimore Orioles did it to them at Arlington Stadium.

* The Yankees have played 15 doubleheaders since Joe Torre became manager in 1996. They have swept eight and split six. They have been swept just once.

* The Yankees .580 winning percentage all-time is the highest against the Rangers for any American League. Then comes Baltimore at .571.

* Shortstop Michael Young: "At this point we're not focused on what happened in the first few weeks of the season. We're trying to keep things simple and make adjustments from day to day. But we can’t just keep dismissing this and say things are going to be better. We have to make them better."

* Cubs manager Lou Piniella on the possibility of Joe Torre being fired: "I feel more for myself than I do for Joe. I don't think he's too concerned about the Cubs' situation, is he?"

* If you were counting, you'll know the Rockies hit seven home runs at Coors Field in April and that was a new low for them.

* Mariners second baseman Jose Lopez recently signed a four-year contract and he can earn an additional $125,000 per annum passing four tests: body fat percentage, a 60-yard sprint, 20-yard shuttle run and vertical jump during the season.  Each successful test is worth $25,000 and if he passes all four in a year, he gets another $25,000. The Mariners want him to stay in shape during the course of the contract.

* Reds manager Jerry Narron on the great start by rookie outfielder Josh Hamilton: "As long as he keeps the plate discipline, he's got a chance for it to continue. To me, that's the biggest part of it - he hasn't chased pitches out of the zone."

* Indians reliever Danys Baez, who was once a Cuban defector: "When I first came to this country I had about three or four phone numbers in my cellphone. Now I have about 300."

* Braves catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia was called up from the Minors this week and immediately set a Major League record for most letters in his last name.

* Just for the heck of it: Todd Stottlemyre.

* Angels manager Mike Scioscia on Vladimir Guerrero: "I didn't get a chance to see Willie Mays and Hank Aaron, guys who were mega-superstars. But I've never seen a guy swing a bat as hard as Vladdy and be able to square the ball up so often.

* Thomas Edison (right, pitching) was a big baseball fan. In 1899 he filmed the short movie "Casey at the Bat." That's considered the first baseball movie ever.

* The first baseball game was played at the Elysian Fields in New Jersey in 1846. You know it took another 50 years before somebody figured out that they needed the Infield Fly Rule? That's right. It came in about 1895. Before that, dropping pops for double plays was common practice.

* Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis on Miguel Cabrera: "He's half man, half amazing. He's the best player in the league; you can quote me on that. This is my seventh year with him. He's a Hall of Fame guy. I know nobody cares about my opinion, but that kid's that good."

So the Big Red or the Big Red Machine is off to the championship game in Athens, which is supposed to be bigger than the Super Bowl, and that statement would be an affront to all American football fans who believe that Pete Rozelle's creation is not only the best reason ever invented to throw a big party in the dead of winter but also bigger than the World series.

Actually, not supposed to refer to Liverpool F.C. as the Big Red because that's supposed to show your ignorance and you can't call them Carlsberg even though that's stitched across the front of their jerseys.

Carlsberg is a Danish company that brews beer, including Tuborg Gold, which is known as the Golden Beer of Danish Kings, which is probably what Hamlet was quaffing when he told Horatio, "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."

Carlsberg sponsors Big Red - um, I mean Liverpool - and Tom Hicks owns that bunch, or at least half of it with his buddy who owns the Montreal Canadians, and no doubt the Golden Beer of Danish Kings would be an appropriate brew to celebrate Liverpool going on to the UEFA Champions League championship game.

Think that game is still three weeks away, which goes to show that a championship football game - no matter what shape they're kicking - can be infinitely hyped by the best of them.

Hicks was in England watching the Carlsberg boys thump Chelsea on Tuesday, which means he missed the thumping that the Yankees put on his baseball boys, who don't have beer displayed across their chest but no doubt were quaffing a few themselves after what happened at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Not good but the Yankees still have Alex Rodriguez, who is still among the top ten highest people being paid by Hicks. Not sure where Steven Gerrard and Peter Crouch fit in the payroll, or Daniel Aggard, who is from Denmark but still scored Liverpool's only goal against Chelsea the other day.

No doubt the Golden Kings were thrilled by that development although not sure why a Danish guy is playing for an English team. Obviously something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Yes, I was dying to use that line.

But the Big Red stars were out on Tuesday night and so were the Yankees, and that's what it all comes down to. You win with stars, as Tom Grieve told me long ago, and that means Mark Teixeira and Michael Young, Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla, Hank Blalock and Sammy Sosa and Eric Gagne and Akinori Otsuka.

They are the ones that must lead the Rangers out of their morass, no matter how much people want to flog Brian Wilkerson or Brandon McCarthy. You don't win with Victor Diaz at cleanup or interchanging middle relievers.

The Mavericks know the same thing with their German King and it's Baron Davis who is ruining their victory parade, not some Schmoo named Horatio. Even the English know that it's the superstar that marries Posh, not some bloke from Nottingham Forest.

What will heal the Rangers? Their star players. Nothing else.

After all, they don't call it the Golden Beer of Danish Utilitymen.

The Rangers are placing outfielder Frank Catalanotto on the disabled list with an acute strained biceps muscle in his right arm. Catalanotto said he is hoping the inflammation can be knocked out quickly and he'll be sidelined for no more than the minimum 15 days. Outfielder Victor Diaz has been recalled from Triple A Oklahoma.