Of John Rocker, George Santayana and Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Baby, did you ever wonder, whatever became of John Rocker?

He’s living on the air in Atlanta…Atlanta WKRP. Or 680.

Or whatever station that was. Actually there were two of them, I believe. He had a busy day. Apparently he doesn’t have much to do, which happens when you spiral into irrelevance although his chiming in about steroids hardly created a blimp on the radar screen.

Most eyes are eagerly turned toward Washington D.C., where Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee are getting ready to spill their guts to Congress. That’s the main event and so much for everybody getting excited about pitchers and catchers reporting.

On the Potomac it’s pitchers and personal trainers reporting, although Andy Pettitte is not reporting. He’s not getting any camera time on C-SPAN. Like a semifinalist in American Idol, he didn’t make it to the season finale in Hollywood.

Rocker, who would be a big hit in Congress, mentioned something about Alex Rodriguez, Juan Gonzalez and Ivan Rodriguez talking to doctors from Major League Baseball and the Players Union about how to make steroids work for them and nobody really cared too much. Maybe it’s the source or maybe it’s Been There, Heard That.

Flogging Alex Rodriguez has become a national sport anyway so Rocker’s contribution to that war effort qualifies as nothing more than negligible. Pudge? He keeps trucking along on his way to Cooperstown. Juan? He’s with the Cardinals right now and there’s no doubt all of us will at least have a passing interest in how that comes out.

He remains one of the greatest Rangers ever and it will be interesting to see if he one day ends up in the club’s Hall of Fame. Most likely it will come down to whether or not people remember the great days of 1991-99 or the disaster of 2002-03 when he was a drain on the trainer’s time and the owner’s pocketbook. The owner’s memory may be the first and last word on the subject.

But anybody who had first-hand witness to the 1996 season and playoffs is not likely to ever forget it. Team chemistry is nice but the physics of a 235-pound slugger literally carrying a team through the hot months of July and August may have been more important.

They still haven’t replaced him. Even Juan couldn’t replace Juan during a dreadful decade of outfield production. Actually it couldn’t have been that bad because the Rangers are either ignoring George Santayana’s advice about forgetting/reliving the past or believe rather in the adage about, "if at first you don’t succeed…"

Either way, Kevin Mench is coming back, either reaffirming the inevitability of the Rangers embedded culture or their obvious need for as many outfielders as possible. Look, if Milton Bradley’s knee isn’t ready by April Fool’s Day, guess who’s likely going to have his day in right field on Opening Day in Seattle. Remember left-hander Erik Bedard will likely be pitching for the Mariners.

Anyway the need for outfielders may be why Josh Hamilton is the most important acquisition for the Rangers this off-season. Yes pitching is a big need around here but it’s also true that the Rangers have long lost the offensive swagger that was once their marquee attraction, except on days that Nolan Ryan was pitching.

The Rangers need Hamilton to provide offensive impact in the middle of the lineup just as they need Hank Blalock to come back to full strength and just as they need Ian Kinsler to fulfill his destiny as a top-of-the-order offensive force.

It’s pitchers and catchers on Thursday but position players soon follow and the offensive outlook is just as important as what happens on the mound and Bradley’s knee rates just as highly on the concern-meter as Jason Jennings elbow. Still think the Rangers should have just let Jarrod Saltalamacchia swing the bat as a first baseman rather than put him behind the plate but…

These and other questions start getting answered shortly. Clemens is going to the Hill in Washington but 28 pitchers are going to climb another hill in Surprise for the Rangers and, unless Rocker has more to say to Howard Stern or Don Imus, it’s baseball again for a team that has pretty much been consigned to third place by every person who has a podium to make a prediction.

Is that right? Possibly, unless everything goes right for the Rangers. Spring Training can create false expectations both in the desert and the swamps but it is legitimate to say that if everybody on this team simply does what they have in the past when they were successful then it is possible for this team to have a winning record.

Or more.

Does everything usually go according to the blue print? Of course not. Rarely does it, especially when it comes to the Rangers and this decade has been living proof of that. Hey, the Rangers thought John Rocker was going to be their closer all-year long back in 2002 and he didn’t even make it out of April. Either did Chan Ho Park, come to think of it.

Or Juan for that matter. Apparently those doctors weren’t as insightful as Rocker and his buddies expected.

No matter. Much of it is a crapshoot anyway over a 162-game season except for those who had the Arizona-Colorado matchup in last year’s NLCS office pool. We’re off to the desert for those long hot days and cool spring nights. Still miss Port Charlotte but it’s high-time for baseball again.

Enjoy it. As Daniel Patrick Moynihan once said 44 years ago, "Yes, we’ll smile again. But we’ll never be young again."